And The Winner Is.....

Blog is a little early this week so
do not open till Sunday.
(It's all in the anticipation)

What has been the greatest invention of all time? Some might say it's the car or the railway or maybe paper or even the wheel. What about TV or the aeroplane? It could be the plough but then again, it could be the World Wide Web. All worthy winners but I would suggest it's something much more humble.  My vote would have to go to the Bic Cristal pen. Not that stupid yellow one which writes like a spider with muddy feet has staggered across your page. I mean the clear plastic one that writes in either blue, black or ominous red. 

Firstly, it's a genius of design being ridiculously simple but effective. It consists of only 5 parts including the cap but only has one moving part in the nib. The clear plastic casing means you can see exactly how much ink you have left and what colour it is. Mr Bic (actually Baron Marcel Bich) even made the casing hexagonal so that it wouldn't roll off your desk but it still feels comfortable in your hand. The perfectly designed nib rolls across the page and never leaks. It even comes with its own built in stress reliever, in moments of contemplation you can chew on the cap to aid concentration. When the spittle ridden cap has been munched to oblivion, you can start on the little blue end cap. When you have swallowed that you can start on the pen itself. You will find the hard outer casing and the softer polythene ink container are both edible. You can't do that with a Montblanc. For moments of light relief the pen also converts into a handy pea shooter so you can annoy anyone within spitting distance, what more could you ask for.

This marvellous device also has magical properties. If you suddenly have need of a pen but don't have one about your person, just have a quick look round and one is likely to turn up. They magically appear in draws, under desks or in handbags. They like to manifest themselves in those containers nobody has touched for years in piles of paper or behind sofas. They can be found under the seat of your car or in the glove box. They can even be found outside in the gutter or under bushes, even on the pavement itself. Unfortunately they also like to disappear in the same manner. 

The effect this humble invention has had on the cultural landscape is immeasurable. How many snotty nosed children have begun their primitive scribblings with this sublime invention only to turn into the great writers, scientists and world leaders of our age? How many exams have been sat and passed using this amazing tool. It's incredibly cheap to produce and therefore affordable to the most deprived of students making education and self- expression available to people from the poorest countries and backgrounds. It is the great leveller, a tool that can be wielded by the privileged grammar school boy in London as well as the child in the South American jungle to equal effect.

Girls have their pencil cases stuffed with multi-coloured highlighters and gel pens but the trusty Bic has always been a staple. Some of the more pretentious males have had their posh pens from time to time but they get lost just as easily and are no-where near as comfortable to write with. These days youngsters do everything on computer so can no longer write or spell; is this the death knell for the trusty ink provider? I don't think so, not yet. There are not many people who use a computer who don't have a pen and paper handy but it's going that way. Pity those poor students who only use a computer, you can't chew on a mouse when your stressed or doodle when you are pretending to pay attention. Therefore my vote goes to the Bic pen, the unsung hero of our age.

Ps. Unfortunately, old man Bic's genius seems to have ended with the pen. Its stable mate the 'Bic razor' is the spawn of the devil and should be avoided at all costs unless you want to slash your face to ribbons and be forever known as Scarface.