En Vogue.

Ever since I was a kid dreaming of being James Bond I've wanted to drive along the South Coast of France through those glamorous towns of St Tropez and Nice in a convertible with the wind in my hair and a beautiful girl at my side; well I've come close. It was actually Northern France in our middle aged Astra but the principle is the same. We got by easily enough with my basic French and it transpires that Dearly Beloved has a knack for gesticulating in French which came in handy a couple of times. France is a vast and complex country and we only travelled a tiny part of it but one thing in particular struck me. The French do like to dress up.

I don't know if there is such a thing as a national pastime but if there is it would be dressing up for the French. All the time we were there I didn't see a single hoody or tracksuit. We came across an organised running event and every participant young or old, man or woman wore garishly coloured Lycra. None of that shorts and T shirt malarky you would get in this country. It was the same with the many cyclists we saw. There must be a law that states you can't ride a bike on the road unless you are garbed in luminous Lycra with colour co-ordinated hat and accessories. I suspect the garb costs more than the bike. The joggers followed suit, no-one stumbling along with baggy shorts, dirty trainers and an old Led Zep T-shirt. Even on the country lanes near nightfall where no one would see them. They certainly looked the part even if the actual running didn't.

Mon Dieu, these woollen pants are chafing.

We went to Boulogne-Sur-Mer on the Sunday and they have a lovely tree lined green just near the Sealife Aquarium. A group of local headcases calling themselves the Medieval Society had set up some tents and were busy demonstrating medieval crafts and techniques, roasting a pig and standing proudly round a small trebuchet that they were no doubt intending to fire later. There were quite a few of them and they were all exceptionally well dressed in well made and authentic looking outfits. Some of the women's dresses wouldn't look out of place a museum. It didn't cost anything to get in. no one waved collection tins at us or even asked for a voluntary donation. The stated aim was to keep alive the medieval crafts and traditions although it was clearly an excuse to dress up just for the hell of it. Why not I say?

The school run looked like a photo shoot for Vogue magazine and the people out walking their dogs looked they had been prepped by a PR assistant before they stepped out. Needless to say not everyone has my sartorial elegance and effortless fashion sense so not everyone hit the mark; some people you just can't do anything with but everyone looked like they had tried. Most of the teenagers looked like they had come straight off the pages of a catalogue. People even sat on the beach with their clothes on. It's probably quite shallow but it's nice to see women who are happy to wear skirts and dresses instead of jeans and T shirts and teenagers who don't look there are up to something they shouldn't be. It projects a kind of national confidence and positivity. On the whole I think I approve although you will be pleased to know I won't be buying any Lycra.