The King is Dead.

There is an old saying which suggests 'money makes the world go round;' it doesn't. There is another old saying that proposes 'money talks and bullshit walks;' alas that's not true either. Just like clouds, windmills and weather vanes it's wind that makes the world go round, or more specifically hot air.

It's a well-known fact that those alternative energy scientists are devising a way to install an air collection system into the roof of the parliament building. They suggest they would be able to harness enough hot air to power the borough of Hackney. The best thing about this new source of energy is that it is free. Politicians can break promises and rip up manifesto pledges while delivering only bluster and flannel to their hearts content, safe in the knowledge that the general public will never seriously ask them to pay up. The key function of government is to control the public purse but they freely admit that not only is the purse empty, we are in debt to such an extent that we can never pay it back. So what exactly are they doing?

The financial institutions replaced money with hot air years ago. They are happy to take it off you as long as you don't ask for it back because they haven't got it. They have already invested it. For those of my readers not familiar with the concept of investments, it means gambling. The fact that all they actually hold is a handful of IOUs doesn't stop these giant bags of wind from throwing their weight about and threatening their poor debtors with increasing interest rates. That's why they were so concerned about the collapse of the euro; their bag would have been well and truly burst.

When I was in sales years ago, my manager explained that nothing is worth anything without someone to sell it. To this end the ad-men over the years have constructed an entire alternative universe of fakery made up of smiling people, happy families and glamour. It's a sad fact of life that if you are an obnoxious twat and you buy a new car you are not suddenly going to become effortlessly cool, you're still going to be an obnoxious twat. That new toothpaste is not going to change your life, it probably won't even whiten your teeth as promised, but who can be bothered to go back for a refund. People don't buy objects, they buy into a lifestyle, aspiration or a self-image and that's the part where the profit is made. Fortunately for the plucky ad-men the consumers seem perfectly happy with this arrangement and never complain when the glitz and the glamour don't arrive with the product.

Money? There is no money. The king has been deposed and replaced by those twin upstarts blarney and flannel. The power behind the throne has been whittled away until only an empty illusion is left. There have always been shysters, con-artists and flim-flam men running the show and no one is really surprised but now it's their empty promises and hollow rhetoric that keep the world turning. In fact, should you possess a significant amount of actual cash, the police would be very interested in talking to you to find out where you got it from.