The Ghost of Christmas Present.

Last week, some cheeky blighter had the audacity to try and tell me Father Christmas doesn't exist, that he was a figment of the imagination and that my parents had been lying to me. This fellow was clearly a deranged madman but I took pity on him and rather than send him packing I tried to explain the error of his ways. 

'There are plenty of pictures of the great man,' I said, 'some in his modern red attire as devised by Coca Cola and then in his more traditional green outfit from his pagan deity days. Even from his Saint Nicolas days in the fourth century when he was a Greek Christian bishop in the Byzantine Empire famous for his extravagant charitable acts. Yes the image has changed over the years but the Character is a real as any historical character whose legacy lives on, people such as Plato and Aristotle whose ideas have inspired the world.'

'But he doesn't live in the North Pole with his elves making toys' countered the doubting thomas. 'Of course not you imbecile' I said, 'There's no electricity up there for one thing and the logistics would be a nightmare. However, he does have factories the world over producing goods whose only purpose is to be given as presents. Pointless items which serve no purpose except to be given to someone. Christmas jumpers, crackers with cheap plastic toys, stocking fillers, soap on a rope which is exactly what the elves are supposed to do. Hundreds of thousands of people the world over are employed to make Christmas related tat. They are not elves but Father Christmas employs them all and feeds their families. Is that not real?'

'You can't deny that many people go out of their way to help their fellow man at Christmas. The Christmas spirit is a palpable thing. It's an ethos or concept similar to those that drive Medicens Sans Frontiere, Save the Children or Greenpeace. Would you say their ethos is not real? If it were removed they may as well pack up and go home because it's the reason they exist. What makes Christmas spirit less real than these?'

'A thing doesn't have to have a physical entity to make it true, Santa's influence is no less measurable than global warming, black holes or quantum physics or even music, you can't photograph it but that doesn't mean it isn't there. He is more real than a hermit who lives in his house and never see's anyone and never goes out because he has more influence in the world.'

As for visiting every house on Christmas Eve, he does although not in person but in spirit. It's the same as the picture of God as a kindly, old man living in the sky. It's what they tell children to make it easier for them to understand. Like religion, the actual truth is more sophisticated. Father Christmas enters everyone's lives on Christmas Eve to a greater or lesser degree. Have you ever tried to keep him out, it's impossible. He doesn't come down the chimney, that's just a metaphor for entering through the portal of your heart, mind, or memory. 

So I said to the ignorant detractor, 'you call yourself a man of science, a doctor no less, yet you still refuse to believe the evidence although it is plain to see. Are you unable to make the leap from childish thinking to adult rationalisation because someone said he doesn't exist? It's thinking like that that led to the Flat Earth Society. On every level Father Christmas exists and yet you refuse to acknowledge him for fear of old playground taunts. Shame on you.'

The Doctor shook his head and replied ' Well we are all entitled to our opinions Mr Bill, Now, just let me tighten the straps on your straight jacket and the nurse will be in shortly for your injection.