'To sleep, perchance to dream'

I was in a very large house, the two rooms at the front that we lived in were decorated and tidy but the rest of the house was nearly derelict. The building seemed to go on forever, floor after floor of abandoned rooms, some the size of ballrooms .The plaster was cracked and blown and there were holes in the impossibly high ceilings showing the floor boards of the rooms far above, the threadbare carpets were damp and musty with a faded pattern. The old wallpaper hung limply, falling away from the walls and decaying with age. In each room there were piles of junk, old toys, clothes and worthless bric-a-brac

mixed with parts of old engines. In some rooms metal shelving lined the walls loaded with old, broken and useless objects. I turned to the person next to me who was standing in the shadows. I couldn't see his face but I knew who he was although I couldn't quite put my finger on it as is often the way with dreams. I remarked ' I expect we'll be able to sell it and make a little profit.'

I quite often have this recurring dream although this one was quite upbeat as I could see a way out of my predicament. It's always the same scenario with a house in an appalling state and skip loads of junk lying about although the actual house changes. Most often I am walking through it distraught with despair about how much work there is to do and how I can never afford to do it all whilst kicking myself for my stupidity. The chief emotion is despair. Sometimes I am excited about the amount of space tinged with frustration that it's going to take years of work and huge amounts of money before I can get it in order. Dearly beloved is always there somewhere in the house out of sight but the over-riding feeling is that I am on my own.

I had this dream last week. I have been having it for years and I still don't have a clue what it means. Apparently the house represents my head but I can't figure out what's going on. It's not a nightmare as the feeling I am left with on waking is despair, not terror. I have always had recurring dreams starting from when I was very young and they have changed over the years. This is the latest incarnation so if any of you amateur psychologists would like to have a stab at explaining it, feel free. Answers on a postcard to BarkingmadMeadie.......