The cycle was uneventful and I had my shower at work in the normal manner, but standing there dripping wet, I discovered that I had forgotten my uniform work shirt. I am really pernickety about packing my backpack for exactly this reason. I make a point of counting the items in and double checking. I've been doing it for years with no mishap, until today. I even began to suspect a prank but then realised it was paranoia. I didn't have time to cycle home and couldn't sit there all day in my sweaty t shirt being ridiculed by my team mates. What to do? Fortunately it was a Saturday and Dearly Beloved was at home so I attempted to ring her to see if she would do an emergency dash and bring one down in the car. There followed a comedy of errors which included missed calls, voicemail messages, my phone ringing my good buddy instead which wouldn't allow me to disconnect and returned calls that my phone wouldn't allow me to accept no matter how many times I pressed the 'answer' button all topped off with some frantic texts. Eventually I managed to explain my predicament and she brought one down.
Unfortunately, the Tesco shopping delivery was due at exactly the time Dearly Beloved was rescuing me. I imaged her making phone calls trying to reorganise the delivery she had missed due to my stupidity. She wouldn't have been pleased. Fortunately, she made it back just in time. Unfortunately she didn't have a key as our youngest son had it so she couldn't get back in. She thought she would have to sit on the door step all day surrounded by shopping and waiting for me to cycle back home. In a rare flash of good luck, our middle son was late for work so he let her in. A minor disaster narrowly avoided.
As you would expect on such a day I was given my least favourite job at work which is currently going through some 'operational changes' leading to cock ups and confusion all round. By the time I left for the cycle home my head was spinning. I was trying to stick to my guns by not buying a bottle of red wine on the way but the cracks were showing. I managed to steel myself and avoided the shop but the day wasn't finished with me yet.
The light bulb in the kitchen has been playing up for a while and it finally went that night. However, then it came on again flickered of a while then went off again, then on again. The bulb was off, then I closed the back door and it came on again. By this time I'm taking the hint that this is probably an electrical fault rather than the bulb. You can't work on electrics in the dark so my next day off is going to be spent inspecting the circuitry and worrying how much a re-wire would cost. That's if the house doesn't burn down in the meantime. I was still resisting the draw of the red wine at the point but then came the coup- de- grace. One of Shakespeare's witches rang our doorbell.
She rang it not once but four or five times, it sounded like the prelude to a police raid. I warily pulled open the door and did a comic double take, there was no-one there. I looked down and there she was sitting on my doorstep. I know of this lady, she is elderly with curly grey hair, she looks exactly like a witch complete with warts and wispy chin hair. She has that look that suggests she is not entirely with it. She likes to feign illness by sitting outside our local shops and looking poorly until some kind soul comes across and asks her if she is all-right. Sometimes she pretends to fall down so people run over and call an ambulance for her. When the ambulance arrives she makes a miraculous recovery and wanders off. She is well known to the local emergency services and here she was sitting on my doorstep. She looked up at me with plaintive, rheumy eyes, held out her unsteady stand and said 'buy a raffle ticket dearie?'
'No thanks' I said closing the door on her in a manner which hopefully suggested that I was going to have no truck with her shenanigans and to make herself scarce. I waited five minutes before opening the door to check she had gone which she had. She has never done this before and hopefully she won't do it again.
By this time my resolve had dissolved and I was off down the local shop for a bottle of red wine. After the first glass the day's events disappeared in to history and no further mishaps occurred that day. I'm sure this is a normal day for some people out there but it had far too much drama for my liking. You will be pleased to know that the following day was uneventful and suitably chilled, mind you I still have the electrics to fix and I still haven't found my shoes.
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