A Comic Tragedy..

Dearly Beloved and I had a new bed delivered the other day and I think I upset the delivery man. He brought some parts in and asked where it should go, I pointed up the stairs, 'the first on the left' I said and quipped, 'the room without the bed in.' I thought I was being friendly and jovial. He gave a thin smile and carried the flat pack up the stairs. He then went back outside and returned with the mattress while his crew-mate shifted some stuff around in the back of the van. He asked if I would mind giving him a hand with it. 'Is your mate too ugly to get out of the van then' I jokingly enquired. I didn't mind assisting at all and thought I was being humorous. It wasn't until after they left that it occurred to me that I had probably come over as a sarcastic twat.

I can't help it, things come into my head that I think are funny or witty and I say them. I was making a round of tea and coffees at work when one of my female colleagues announced she had a new mug. As quick as a flash I said 'Congratulations, what's his name'.* I thought it was hysterical and laughed to myself about it for hours. She probably hates me now, especially since it transpires she prefers women.

Dearly Beloved says that I come across as rude sometimes although that's never my intention. My good friends Steve and Syd who read this blog can probably cast their minds back many years to when I went through a short phase of calling everyone 'Jed.' I thought it was really funny at the time but I expect it was extremely irritating and I'm lucky I didn't get punched.

I think I'm getting paranoid about it. The other day I went to a local charity depot to drop off some unwanted items. I introduced myself to the chappie in the warehouse who came out to help me unload. We were generally chatting away when about halfway through he gave up helping me and walked off into the warehouse without a comment or backward glance; no word of thanks or goodbye. I don't even remember cracking any jokes.

There comes a time when you are too old for wise cracks and witty one liners and the smiles turn to groans. I was at lunch with Dearly Beloved and our youngest when I cracked a joke with the waitress. It wasn't a good joke and made my son cringe with embarrassment so he told me off. Well, how was I to know he'd been at school with her. Good job it wasn't rude.

Old guys who attempt to share jokes with the younger generation unfortunately come over as a bit sad. Instead of a smile of genuine amusement, you receive a smile that says 'silly old duffer'. Do they engage in witty banter with you? No they just up the patronisation levels. Just watch '24 hours in A&E' for evidence. You're just putting another nail in the coffin of your own irrelevance in their eyes. Fortunately my own generation of friends and family still find me hysterically funny... Don't you?  

I expect I shall have to give up this humour lark; it's fraught with danger and just not funny anymore. I'll attempt to develop an air of stately gravitas instead. It's just not me though and I think I'm too short to pull it off.


* If I have to explain the joke it's not as funny as I thought it was.

PS. Regarding last week's post, I had no replies from any female readers so it's official; It's definitely better to be a bloke.