The Worlds Uncoolest Man

A work colleague of mine went to a gig the other day. The band comprised of ex members of 10cc, Mott the Hoople and Manfred Man amongst others and they played a selection of songs from these bands. One of the band played for another notable, music luminary and when they announced a song by this particular artist the audience started booing. The band were taken aback by this and told the audience off in no uncertain terms. They explained that this popstar gave most of them their career breaks, was a towering talent who wrote complicated songs and should be duly respected. The problem was that this guy is just not a cool dude.

So who is this artist who has been at the top of the music tree since the early 60s with top ten selling singles and albums to his name? Who is this man who can sell out a stadium in minutes yet the general public still deem to be naff? How is it possible to be a big player in an industry where even the lowly roadie, in fact, even the friend of the roadie is cool and not possess the tiniest smidgen of coolness? It must have been tricky but somehow Cliff Richard has managed it.

I don't mean to knock the mans' music, his longevity can't be argued with. There have been other religious pop stars, Elvis for example and others with more controversial lifestyles than our Cliff yet he fails to raise a single blip on the cool-o-meter. Even the likes of Barry Manilow and Englebert Humperdinck have a modicum of hipness that has totally bypassed Mr Richard. 

I'm sure Cliff is a very nice chap in person and his legion of fanatical, devoted followers will probably disagree with me but I can't help feeling that in ranks of world coolness Cliff is a non-starter. I suspect that when they were lining up to collect their cool in the 60s Tom Jones pushed in front and stole Cliff's share and probably a little of Barry and Englebert's as well. You have to watch those Welsh.