Home Sweet Home.

Dearly Beloved and I need to get a new front door. When we had the double glazing put in some time ago but didn't bother to get it changed as we thought the wood looked nicer than the UPVC. The problem is that during the winter the door swells and it sticks in the frame. We have a couple of methods for getting it open and it doesn't cause me any problems although it is a bit drafty. In fact it adds charm and character to the house; well, that's my excuse for not changing it so far. Whilst it doesn't cause me any issues you can tell that the various tradesmen, delivery drivers and visitors are all thinking 'why doesn't that twat get new door.'

Over the years I have had a handful of guitar lessons and one of my tutors lived in Barnet. The thing I remember most from visiting his house was not the knowledge he imparted or the inspiration he inflamed but the humongous spider that lived in his porch. It was a monstrous black thing that used to hang over his doorway and radiate malevolence, it hung suspended in the air as if intending to drop on your head as you crossed the threshold. Had it tried to live in my house it would have received the shortest possible shrift and would have been sent back to the pits of hell from whence it came. It didn't seem to bother tutor Tim though. Tutor Tim visited our previous house once and had the audacity to comment on some edging I had put round a worktop although admittedly it could be considered a little wonky. ' I couldn't live with that' he said,' I'm quite a perfectionist about such things.' I can't remember what my reply was although I was thinking, ' at least I don't have a bloody demon living in my porch.' 

Some things bother people more than others. I have a thing about locks on the bathroom myself although some people have a much more open door policy about their ablutions. I hate going to people's houses where they say 'oh don't worry about it, we just sing loudly.' My mother has a lock on her bathroom, the problem there is that the loo doesn't flush. I think I know what the problem is and have offered to fix it but she just fobs me off. 'Don't worry about it' she says, just leave it and I'll sort it out later, we'll get it fixed one day.' She says there is a knack to it but I can't work it and neither can anyone else I know. I couldn't live with it.

Some people live with things that others would deem beyond the pale. I'm not talking about cleanliness. I mean those quirks in everyone's house that you learn to live with, at least, until you get round to fixing it like my front door. I expect it's those little imperfections that make a house a home and although I am quite attached to our front door, I'm afraid its days are numbered.