Pretentious... Moi?

Where I live in Buckinghamshire we are surrounded by pretty little villages which are considered desirable places to live. It's the same all over the country with large towns full of people all desiring to live in the surrounding villages and this desirability is reflected in the price. Having been an Estate Agent in one of my previous career incarnations I can attest to this fact. The question is why.

A certain amount of money will enable a hopeful home buyer to acquire a spacious three bed semi in a nice part of town.  It will almost certainly have gardens to front a back with off street parking or possibly a garage. It will probably be on a quiet estate of similar type properties. It's very like to have one of those convenience stores within easy walking distance and a reasonable pub within staggering distance. That sounds wonderful I hear you say but where's the aspiration?

Alternatively for the same amount of money and a bucket load extra, you can buy a cramped one hundred year old, two bedroomed cottage with damp and a leaky roof. The front garden will be minuscule and just big enough to put your rubbish bins in so the smell wafts in when you open the windows. The rear garden will be tiny and possibly a paved yard. There will be a thin sliver of pavement between your front garden and the noisy traffic hurtling past twenty four hours a day because you're on the main road. Anyone foolish enough to use the pavement would have an excellent view straight into your front room where they can check out your decor and how good looking your partner is while you watch telly. There will generally be on street parking which will be stolen by your neighbours so you will have to park in the adjacent streets. The law of averages dictates that you will sometimes be able to park outside your own house but sod's law dictates it will never be when you have bags full of shopping. It will be cold and draughty and need constant maintenance because of its advanced years.

There will be a village shop but it closes at 6PM and won't open bank holidays or Wednesday afternoons so if you fancy any evening drinks or snacks you will have to drive into town. There's also a lovely village pub which will be a highlight but you'll have to try not to fall off the wafer thin pavement on way home and get run over by the speeding traffic. The quaint little village will be surrounded by fields and quiet country lanes which are lovely in the summer but become life threateningly treacherous in the snow and ice of winter. You will have nightmares about your partner being stuck in a ditch or crashed into a tree because they are late home from work. You also know that the road is so little used no one will find them. All the old people in the village will be strange and insular and you suspect them of belonging to a mysterious cult that steals and eats babies.

It seems people aspire to character and uniqueness which translates into inconvenience and awkwardness. Pretentious snobs us humans... and none worse than I.