The Enemy Within.

Do you feel like a second-class citizen in your own home? Is someone else getting the cream while you're getting the leftovers? Are you the king of your own particular castle or more like the handyman? If you feel that your loved one is pouring affection into another and leaving you out in the cold, I think I know what the problem is; your partner is a cat lover.

As you will be aware from my previous post 'War of Cat-trition' the furry fiend in our house is well aware of its lofty status and misses no opportunity to rub it in. I pay most of the bills and I feel it's time to redress the balance. I'm fed up going out to work every day to keep a roof over his bone-idle head while he dozes on my pillow soaking up my central heating. Enough is enough. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way so I'm proposing forming a self-help group to fight for the rights of cat lover's partner's everywhere. No longer shall we be downtrodden in our own homes.

At this time I feel we should engage in dialogue with our oppressors to voice our concerns and try and find some common ground. By displaying unity and resolve I think we can get the message across that we are not to be trifled with and our demands are serious. At this early stage I don't think it's necessary to engage in violent action or chain ourselves to railings but I'm not ruling anything out. However, if our members feel the need to dress up (as Batman or in drag for example) to display solidarity, that would be perfectly acceptable.

As yet, I have not devised a name for this group so I'll throw it open to the members to come up with some ideas. I am proposing that we organise a high profile march in the first instance to bring attention to our cause. The suggested route at this time is from my house to the pub. I appreciate it's only two minutes but I feel the impact of a 'short, sharp shock' approach will prove invaluable and generate considerable interest. I just need to check with the wife that it's okay and I'll get back to you with some dates.

Long live the revolution.