Spot Blog.

A couple of days ago I got out of bed to get ready for work in the usual manner. It was a normal day in every respect, except one. I stumbled down the stairs to put the kettle on and then stumbled back up again to the bathroom. That's when I discovered the occurrence  which made this day different from every other; the event which was going to define the day and skew my interaction with my colleagues and general public alike. Overnight, I had grown a huge spot on the end of my nose.

It's okay for the fairer sex, they have all kinds of foundations and concealers to combat facial disfigurement. Whilst they may have a hissy fit for the first 10 minutes, it's not long before the potions and poultices of female alchemy come into play. Manly men have to wear their imperfections with pride so, with the fortitude of Ranulph Fiennes facing an arctic blizzard, I set off into the world with nose aglow. I knew people would be pretending not to notice my radiant schnozzle. These things just aren't spoken about.

People are very touchy about this kind of thing. I once mentioned to a colleague that he had a bit of lunch stuck to his chin. He reacted as if I had just caught him burying his mother in the back garden. First he tried to cover it up, then he became defensive edging towards belligerent before stomping off. The level of embarrassment far outweighed the event. Perhaps that's why people hedge round it with gestures and meaningful looks instead of mentioning it outright.

In one of my previous incarnations jobwise I used to deal with clients face to face. One elderly lady had a large purple growth about the size of a golf ball sprouting from her lip that was a wonder to behold. It didn't seem to bother her and we never discussed it although it had its own aura that pulled your eyes towards it. She must have known people would stare at it and I never understood why she didn't get it removed, but then again, I didn't ask.

Back in the 70s there was a blonde, singer songwriter called Lynsey de Paul. I can't remember any of her songs but I remember her 'beauty spot'. personally I'm not a fan and found it irritating but I expect some people love them. To save Lynsey's  blushes, I've transposed her facial embellishment on to a less well know phizog, What do you think, improvement or not?