MInd The Gap.

On the wall in the gents toilet in my local pub there's a condom machine. These days they don't just sell condoms, there's a whole range of exotic, titillating items to be had. I must confess my ignorance in these matters and admit that I don't know what they all do but it must be something fantastic judging by the accompanying pictures. There's a sticker on the front of the machine giving a number you should call if you have any problems with the machine such as not dispensing the requested goodies. The office is open Monday to Friday during normal office hours but there is an ansaphone you can leave a message on should you have problems in the evenings or over the weekend. That's a job you wouldn't want.

No doubt these machines work fine most of the time but, like most things in life, they don't always deliver as promised. I can only feel sympathy for the poor person who has to pick up the messages on Monday morning. I would expect they comprise a tirade of abuse from extremely drunk, belligerent young men who think they are on a promise and been thwarted in their good luck by a machine which has taken all their change.

It can be extremely frustrating when things don't deliver as promised, I often cycle to work in the morning and have a coffee from the machine in the canteen before starting. On several occasions I have been delivered milky water instead of the cup of steaming goodness promised on the machine. Another example would be my expensive broadband which promises superfast buffer free delivery. It's fine at 2 o'clock in the morning but I don't even bother trying anymore at 6 o'clock in the evening.

Advertisers are naturally the worst culprits for smearing fiction and fact. Where do they find all those empty streets to advertise cars? It's hard to show off a car's finer qualities in a traffic jam but it's closer to reality. Then there are the furniture shops whose displays assume we all live in cavernous mansions. Some of those fitted kitchens advertised would take up the whole ground floor of my house.

It's a well known fact that if you start going to the gym three times a week you will lose lots of weight and look like a film star. Not true, whilst there are undoubted benefits they are limited. I work with people who go to the gym and some who don't and you certainly can't tell by looking at them.
The problem being that if people realised the truth all the gyms would close down.

Those good old Buddhists that I mention from time to time have a philosophy that states all life is an illusion. They mean that because of our ego and social conditioning we are blind to the real world. That's what enlightenment means, to see things as they really are. This illusion is what causes unhappiness. Hence you buy car because of its promise when it's really a tin box that fits in nicely with all the other tin boxes on the M25. That's why Buddhists drive Ladas.